My Familiar Mystery Man..
My ex keeps reoccurring in my dreams at night..
It wasnt until two months or so ago that he appeared last, but two nights ago.. he was there again.
He is wearing sunglasses so I cannot see his eyes. His hair is short and he wears a t shirt like he always did when we were in a relationship a couple of years ago. He usually appears like that, as the stereotype of himself.
In my dreams I’m always around him, behind him, beside him, diagonally, parallelly, though never facing him directly; he just always seems to slip away like a fish into the sea..or like that slippery soap bar one of the seven dwarfs tries to hold onto in the Snow White movie. His vibration to me is the equivalent to the familiar mystery man…
Let it be known, that although my behaviour and actions at the time of our being together, weren’t always congruent with my feelings, I did love this man. His star sign was Cancer and mine Gemini. Even when we were having an argument or simply were not on speaking terms, it felt like we were together regardless of what was going on. In other words, our sense of belonging was very strong and could break and did break, many obstacles. The Relationship book described our planetary influences together as ’a fairytale combination’. Indeed, in hindsight it was just that..He had the patience of an angel with me, the loyalty of st Bernard. He was funny, strong, independent and endearing.
In my dreams..my familiar mystery man is always just around the corner..busy with other things solving riddles and problems. Sometimes I can see his house, which is like an island floating on a giant waterlily, surrounded by trees and sunshine. The house is made of a half circle wooden structure, and the three windows are open but partially obscured by drapes and curtains that flow back and forth on the wind. I can peek in sometimes and wonder if he has company..his new girlfriend perhaps? One time I saw him with his new girlfriend and although I was slightly jealous, I knew that waiting was the right thing to do. Waiting until he comes back to me..looks at me again, directly, without sunglasses.
That is how I feel in my dreams..seeking contact but like in a parellel universe he seems to never see me. In my universe I feel curious for him but patient and loving towards him..I will just wait till he sees me again. Yet when I think back about the dreams, I usually feel a sense of togetherness and belonging, despite his unawareness of me.
In reality I have had two other relationships that came after the one I had with him. I was the one that caused the break up. I agree my handling wasnt sufficiently careful at the time, but our bond felt secure enough for me to make mistakes. At present..he doesn’t want to see me. He lives in another country so the chance of running in to him is a small possibility. Yet in my dreams I keep doing just that..running behind him, after him, next to him..without him every noticing this. I hope he is happy. And maybe just perhaps like Snow White herself..I too have to wait until the day comes when he comes back to visit me again…and not parse as my prince , but first and fore mostly as my friend.
He would then say, ‘Liv? I thought maybe you want to go for a coffee and cake?’ And Id say; ‘sounds great, in your town, in my town, or on the giant waterlily?’
